she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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