I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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