How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
