hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
