I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
