Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
