Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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