Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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