i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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