my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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