Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
