At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
