Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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