Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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