my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize