just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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