I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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