1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize