Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
