i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
