google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
