Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize