I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
