I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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