I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
