so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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