I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
