Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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