wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
