if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
