I need help removing her.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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