She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
