Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I am midnight drunk by noon
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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