My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
