We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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