there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
