I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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