butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
