i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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