I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's never too late to be topless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
