im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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