her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
