yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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