I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
