Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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