are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
