There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Drake has all the answers
All the doctor said was why
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize