Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
