okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize