Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
