Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
