you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
