Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
