chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
