You really coming over, don't trick.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
