the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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