if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
