he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
