Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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