Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
