Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
