So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
