Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
