ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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