my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
