I think I just saw someone hide a body.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
