i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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