69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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