They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I deserve to be covered in dicks
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
